儿童英语幽默小笑话分享

对于成人来说，英语学习有时候会让人感到很枯燥，更何况是孩子呢？今天小编就给大家分享一些儿童爆笑英语幽默小笑话精选的10篇笑话，来为孩子的英语学习增添一些趣味，让英语学习暂时告别枯燥。

英语小笑话1：Who are stupid？谁蠢？

A teacher was trying to make use of her psychology courses. She started her class by saying "Everyone who thinks you're stupid stand up!"

Little Johnny then stood up.

The teacher said "Do you think you're stupid Johnny?"

"No ma'am but I hate to see you standing there all by yourself!"

一个老师在对学生们讲心理学，“谁认为自己蠢就站起来？”她一开始就说。

小约翰尼站了起来。

“你认为你很蠢吗，小约翰尼？”老师问。

“不是的，老师，我只是不喜欢看你一个人站着。”

英语小笑话2：A great man一名伟人

Teacher: Would Shakespeare be a greatman if he were still alive today?

Student: Of course. He must be a great man for so far nobody has lived to over 400 years.

老师：如果莎士比亚还活着，他会是一名伟人吗？

学生：当然。因为到目前为止，还没有人活到400多岁。

爆笑英语小笑话3：Two Cute dogs

A man walks into a shop and sees a cute little dog. He asks the shopkeeper "Does

your dog bite?"

The shopkeeper says "No my dog does not bite."

The man tries to pet the dog and the dog bites him. "Ouch" he says "I thought you said your dog does not bite!"

The shopkeeper replies "That is not my dog."

一个男人走进了一家商店，看到了一个可爱的小狗，于是他问店主：“你的狗咬人吗？”

店主说：“不，我的狗不咬人。”

这个男人就试图抚摸狗，然后狗咬了他。“哎呀”他说：“我还以为你说你的狗不咬人呢！”

店主和他说：“那不是我的狗。”

英语小笑话4：Four gold teeth四颗金牙

6.Policeman: Why didn't you shout for help when you were robbed of your watch?

Man: If I had opened my mouth they'd have found my four gold teeth. That would be much worse.

警察：有人抢你的手表时，你为什么不呼救呢？

男子：要是我张口的话，他们就会发现我的四颗金牙。那就更糟了。

爆笑英语小笑话5：Barking dogs don't bite吠狗不咬人

The little girl did not like the look of the barking dog.

"It's all right" said a gentleman "don't be afraid. Don't you know the proverb: Barking dogs don't bite?"

"Ah yes" answered the little girl. "I know the proverb but does the dog know the proverb too?"

一个小女孩非常不喜欢狗狂叫的样子。

“没有关系，”一位先生说，“不用害怕，你知道这条谚语吗：‘吠狗不咬人。’”

“啊，我是知道，可是狗也知道吗？”

英语小笑话6：Class and Ass

Professor Laurie of Glasgow put this notice on his door：“Professor Laurie will not meet his classes today．”

A student，after reading the notice，rubbed out the“c”．Later Professor Laurie came along，and entering into the spirit of the joke，rubbed out the“l”．

格拉斯哥的劳里教授在门上贴了这样一个通知：“劳里教授今天不上课。”

一个学生读了通知后，擦掉了字母“c”。（去掉字母“c”意思为“劳里教授今天不见他的眼镜”） 后来劳里教授来了，也想开开玩笑，他擦掉了字母“l”（再去掉字母“c”意思为“劳里教授今天不见他的屁股”）。

英语小笑话7：Find a girl just like your mother找一个像你妈妈的女孩

No matter which girl he brought home， the young man found disapproval from his mother． A friend gave him advice． “Find a girl just like your mother—then she's bound to like her． So the young man searched and searched， and finally found the girl．

9. He told his friendly adviser：“Just like you said， I found a girl who looked，talked，dressed， and even cooked like mother．And just as you said，mother liked her。

“So，”asked the friend，“what happened？”

“Nothing，”said the young man．“My father hates her！”

无论带哪一个女孩回家，这位青年人总会遭到母亲的反对。一位朋友劝他说： “找一个和你母亲一样的女孩——那她一定会喜欢她。”

于是这位青年人不停地找啊找，终于找到了这么个女孩。 正像你说的那样，我找到一个长相、谈吐、穿着打扮，甚至连烹饪都和我母亲一样的女孩。也正像你说的那样，我母亲喜欢她。”

“那后来呢？”朋友问。

“没什么，”青年人说。“我父亲讨厌她！”

英语小笑话8：The Same Service一样的服务

.A man who had been married for ten years was consulting a marriage counselor． “When I was first married，I was very happy． I'd come home from a hard day down at the shop，and my little dog would race around barking，and my wife would bring me my slippers．Now everything's changed．When I come home，my dog brings me my slippers，and my wife barks at me．”

“I don't know what you're complaining about，”said the counselor．“You're still getting the same service．”

一个结婚十年的男人正在请教一位婚姻顾问。“刚结婚那会儿，我非常幸福。我在店里劳累一天回到家，我的小狗会绕着我跑，汪汪叫，而我的妻子给我拿来拖鞋。现在一切都变了。我回到家里，我的狗给我拿来拖鞋，我的妻子对着我汪汪叫。”

“我不知道你在抱怨什么，”婚姻顾问说。“你得到的服务还是一样的呀。”

英语小笑话9： Afraid policeman were bringing wife back害怕警察把妻子带回来

A highway patrol officer stopped a speeding motorist. "Don't you know what the blinking lights and siren mean?" he demanded.

"Yes sir" replied the driver.

"Then why didn't you pull over immediately?"

"I would have officer " the man said. "But last month my wife ran off with a policeman and I was afraid you were bringing her back.

一位公路巡警截住了一个超速司机。“难道你不知道闪烁灯和警笛的意思吗？”他责问道。

“知道，长官，”司机回答说。

“那你为什么不立即靠边停车？”

“我本来想这样做的，长官。”那男子回答说，“但上个月我妻子和一位警察私奔了，我是害怕你把她带回来。”

英语小笑话10： I can't help you我不能帮助你

12.Workman：“Mr. Brown，I should like to ask for a small rise in my wages． I have just been married．” Employer：“Very sorry，my dear man， but I can't help you． For accidents which happen to our workmen outside the factory we are not responsible．”

工人：“布朗先生，我想请您给我加一点工资。我刚刚结了婚。”

雇主：“非常抱歉，老兄，但是我无能为力。对工人在厂外发生的事故我们概不负责。”

以上就是小编给大家分享的“儿童爆笑英语幽默小笑话大全”中精选的10篇笑话，希望能为大家的英语学习增添一些乐趣。